Malaysian observations

It's been over a week since I've returned from Malaysia and I still haven't had the chance to write any of it down! The sole purpose of this blog's existence is to basically record events and memories that my Alzheimer's brain can't remember, so I better get on it before it's too late and *poof*, what was I saying again...

Malaysia was hot. The second last day that I was there, it was so hot that I was sweating by literally just standing in the sun's rays, and almost sweated as much as I did playing badminton. The only positive thing I can say about that is at least the UV index isn't as high as in Canada and I didn't feel like I was BBQ-ing (the one being cooked). I don't know how to calculate the humidity but apparently the humidity can reach 100% in Malaysia. I'm not sure if I had mentioned that before. One time we were eating mini skittles sours, the kind that has a sour sugar coating on the outside and as soon as I opened the bag, the sugar started dissolving from the from vapours! Sours probably aren't as popular there as they are in the great white North. Here are some other interesting observations that I made while there:

1. Lizards are equivalent to the squirrel in Ontario. I tried several times to catch one, but like squirrels they seem to be able to out-maneuver me.

2. It's trendy for girls there to have light skin rather than dark skin. At the Watson's I saw skin-whitening products rather than skin-tanning products.

3. I forgot to check if water in the toilets flush in the opposite direction.

4. The houses in Malaysia really are open-air. I wish that they would learn to adopt screens over the windows though because the mosquitos loved me and I had no place to hide.

5. People LOVE TO STARE! I had forgotten how much Asian people like to stare. I felt like I was being looked at through one of those observatory windows in the zoo, displayed for people to freely gawk at. It's not as if a person staring even tries to make it subtle, it is out-right eye-raping (stolen and adapted from the Wedding Crashers, great movie!) It's a strange sensation. Maybe it's par for people who live in Malaysia/Singapore/Asia but coming from Canada where nobody looks at you, it's an anomaly. It got to the point that I was having fun with it. Waiting to enter the subway, we stood on the arrows of the "in" lane ushering us into the subway and as we waited for the doors to open I saw about 6 faces smooshed up against the door as a large crowd was preparing to exit. Of the 6 faces about 3 of them were staring at me. I decided to choose one of them with whom I would have a "stare-off" with. I don't think he realized that he was involved in the game but that was to my advantage anyway. So a stare-off is basically when you stare at each other and the first person to look away is the loser. He commenced eye contact, I locked into his eyes, 2 seconds later...it's a tie...5 seconds later, he's thinking what the hell is going on here, why is she staring back at me?...8 seconds later, hey buddy are you gonna look away yet or what? Weird look comes across his face...he looks to the left, YES I won! Loser. But I must admit in some way, it does feel good to know people are looking at you. It's kind of like when you are playing a sport and you have spectators who are there to watch you, so subconsciously you are performing better. OK maybe that's not the same thing but hopefully they are staring for a good reason (and not because I have toilet paper stuck in the back of my pants).

6. Speaking of toilet paper, Malaysia has a lack of it. Although everything in Malaysia is extremely cheap, I still couldn't wrap my head around having to pay to go to the washroom and then paying an additional fee to obtain tissues to wipe your ass! This is one of the best reasons to be a guy in my opinion, tinkle and shake.

7. Water from taps must be boiled, and although water is boiled, it still tastes funky. If you leave water out for too long, ants like to gather in it and consequently drown themselves.

8. The soil is orange. Unlike here where it is dark brown. Imagine drawing pictures as a kid in Malaysia...what use would you have for the dark brown pencil crayon?

9. Real estate is like that in any other city, always expanding. However, in Malaysia buildings are often started but never completed. The owners simply run out of money so ghost buildings are not uncommon. It is also common for shopping centres to dwindle and go out of business.

10. At many Malay stalls, there are no set prices on food. It's basically like a buffet, you take which ever food you like and how ever much food you want. Then you show the lady, and she will point to the plate of heaping food and estimate how much it should be. Basically, if you're a foreigner, you will most likely get screwed over but it will still be cheap as hell. Then after you've eaten and get up to leave, you tell her how much you owe and pay it.

11. Food in general was hot (with the exception of Chinese food) but not too hot. Boon's aunt Su Ing practically drank Sambal though; she must be made of fire.

12. Stray kitties everywhere. Some stray dogs too, but I mostly paid attention to the cats. These kitties were not your typical cat that you would see in Canada. Most of them were malnutritioned and get this, they had deformed tails. I wondered if this was some sort of Malay mutation that occurred over years of being in the wild, but then one day I saw a cat with a stumpy tail and it was still bleeding. Ewwww...something was attacking these cats. There were very few and fortunate cats that I saw with full tails.