First Kiss

So I was just thinking back...back to a time when I wondered what my first kiss would be like, my first date. You know, as a young girl (or a young boy), you begin to think about these things. Contrary to the popular kiss-your-own-arm, kiss-the-pillow, or kiss-your-cousin (ewwww) methods of practice, I preferred just to imagine what it would be like. This moment is supposed to be a major milestone in one's life, akin to getting your driver's license, hitting puberty, getting it on, etc. And after all the wondering and waiting it happened.

I was being dropped off by my date. We had gone to a restaurant, East Side Mario's to be exact. He was dropping me off after dinner (on a weekday!) and we did the whole walk slowly up the steps of the porch, anticipating the moment when we would say our goodbyes and part. He said, "So, I had a really great time," and I said, "Yeah me too." We looked into each other's eyes. He stooped down, looking deeper into my eyes, and then moved closer.

And then...he propped his head sideways...to the left!!!(???) Who kisses from the left side???? Whoa that really threw a wrench into things. He was right-handed too. I thought, only lefties would do that. But I guess I was wrong. Isn't there some universal rule that states only kissing from the right is allowed? There should be some population database: age, sex, favourite food, kisses from the left. That way, all lefty kissers can get together and be happy. Then the tongue. It was apparent that it was going to be a Frenchie. But I didn't want it to be a tonsil hockey, muscle work-out. Just hoping for a little peek-a-boo. Well it must have been the whole head tilt thing that was throwing me off because whenever I went to close my mouth, I kept chomping on his tongue. I could feel the little taste buds of his tongue grating across my teeth and although I hoped that I wasn't hurting him, it kind of grossed me out. A couple of minutes later (I'm not sure exactly how long it was), our lips parted and he stood straight again and said:
"Mmmmm, banana."

He was commenting on the sucker that I had consumed not much earlier, you know, the candies that you get with your bill.

So as you can see, a first kiss, albeit a highly anticipated event, is not all it's cracked up to be. It's not glamorous, it's not particularly memorable (in a good way), and it's not as great as you imagined it to be in your head. It is in fact a little awkward and embarassing. And so I ask, is it worth it to have such high expectations and fantasies? Hehe, well it makes for a funny story...in retrospect.

Got a first kiss story you want to share??? I told you mine, now you tell me yours!