Slow microprocessor

Don't you ever wish in life you never miss a thing? I am convinced that my brain works at the rate of dial-up internet. I wish someone could invent real-time closed captioning. If you've ever watched TV with CC, you know that you never miss what someone says, or you even know what's going to happen before you see it! That would be great, if I could just have a black rectangle with scrolling words across the bottom of my visual field everywhere I go (including lectures).