Arrrrrrr Matey

You know what I love?? EPIPHANIES. Epiphanies are great. The "Oh my gosh, are you serious???" 's. When you realize that you were doing something wrong the entire time, and finally, you know the right way to do it. Or things that never occurred to you before, but seem crystal clear all of the sudden. Those are the more obvious ones. Then there are the ones that are just subtle, and like magic, expectedly things are working for you.

That being said, I haven't had one in a while.

But I'll give a couple of examples of ones that have occurred in the past.

I'm actually not certain if this is an epiphany so much as taking one for the dumb team. When I was little, I used to do yard work, house painting, house chores and car stuff with my dad. We always ended up getting pretty dirty to say the least. We would have to use solvents, paint thinners, etc. and many times, they would end up on my hands. So these solves are potentially poisonous and my dad, looking out for me, would tell me to wash my hands thoroughly. Being very young, this word "thoroughly", really didn't have much meaning to me. My vocabulary was, and probably still is, limited! Anyhow at the time I thought "thoroughly" could have two possible meanings: complete and careful or casual and light. Although being absolute opposites, I had a 50/50 shot at choosing the right answer. But I was convinced that it was the latter. Needless to say, I washed my hands very briefly in tap water, shook the water off and wiped them. My dad said, "Did you wash your hands thoroughly?" to which I replied, "Yup Dad." I can't say exactly when I realized, or had the epiphany that I had the mistaken "thoroughly" to be the opposite meaning, but alas, it did happen. (No, it wasn't last year) And I'm still alive.

If I'm not mistaken, he might have applied that word in regards to the use of an autoclave as well....

Epiphany #2. Are you like me and assumed that pirates wore those silly feather-impaled hats, bandanas, puffy white shirts, pointy boots, and eye patches to fit an image? Such that when captains saw a group of these swashbuckling ruffians approaching on the high seas, they would know to raise the white flag and surrender? I can't remember why we were talking about pirates, but after having a discussion with my dad, I had an "Oh my gosh" moment. I had what I call the Captain Hook Theory: pirates wear patches because they have had an eye gouged out from combat (or poked himself in the eye with his hook).

Then my dad, putting a scientific spin on things said matter-of-factly: pirates cover one eye, a perfectly useful and good eye as a combat tactic. A rather clever one. If you have ever experienced absolute and blinding darkness when walking into a dark building, having been outside in the sun, then you will understand this concept. If you are in a bright environment, the pupils of your eyes adapt to shrink, so as to let in less light. This mechanism serves to protect the eye from overexposure, as well as improve the visual acuity and thus you can see more detail. When you abruptly moving into a dark environment, you can't see at first because your pupils were constricted. But your pupils dilate eventually, so as to let in more light and thus to see shapes, albeit not very clearly and not in colour. The opposite is true in the reverse situation (dark to light environment, you will be blinded by too much light until your pupils adjust and constrict).

So essentially, when pirates need to go into dark places, such as below the deck or into caves as they are swordfighting, such adaptation mechanisms of the eye as one transitions from dark to light environments are anticipated with the patch. Since the one eye is already covered, it has already adapted to the dark, and thus, enter the cave, flip the patch up, one good eye ready to go while your opponent is blind momentarily, swish swish with the blade, opponent dead.

Smaaart.

So as you can see, the gouged eyeball was just a childish myth that I held into adulthood. I have to give pirates a lot more credit now.

Me feel so sdupid.