Who you calling Banana?

At work the other day, I was observing a physiotherapist at the hospital. She was doing some walking exercises with a Chinese female patient. It is not uncommon for family members to be present at many of the therapy sessions that patients get because they visit often and accompany the patients throughout their day. This was the case for this patient. Her mother came in halfway through the therapy, happily greeting the patient. The mother brought with her a friend, and as is customary for Asian people who see other Asian people around, the friend saw me and right away addressed me. Only she spoke in Mandarin. So I said very politely, "Sorry ma'am, I don't speak Mandarin." Then the dialogue goes as follows:

Her: What? You don't speak Chinese? *tsk*
Me: No I don't.
Her: What do you speak?
Me: I speak English.
Her: You're not Chinese.
Me: Yes I am.
Her: No you're not.
Me: Yes. I am.
Her: Why don't you speak Chinese?
Me: I grew up in London, Ontario. (jokingly)
Her: Oh. You're a banana. *looks at me disapprovingly*
Me: What?
Her: Yes you're a banana. I have two at home. I'm not even Chinese, I just married Chinese.

For those of you who don't know, a banana is yellow on the outside, white on the inside. It's an analogous term to the oreo (black/brown on the outside, white on the inside), and can also be connoted by a twinkie. Was I offended? You betcha. It's one thing to hear it from a friend who is joking around, but it's another to hear it from a perfect stranger who feels much frustration with her own kids such that she has to take it out on me. If a friend were to make the same comment, which in that case, it would be a joke, I would laugh about it. Sure it's a double standard, but humour comes in many forms!

I don't think she meant it to be a personal attack so much as her feeling it was her duty to preserve the culture. But she made a personal comment to me, a complete stranger, and not even in a joking way. (We have all been victims at some point to backhanded verbal badgery.) She doesn't even know me and for her to pass judgment like that, I thought it cruel and unusual punishment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bitter girl. I'm just shocked that I had to endure a racial comment like that from my own supposed kind. Even she wasn't of Chinese descent! This begs the question, what is Chinese, what is any culture?

I was offended because she has this wrong perception of me. I grew up in Canada, for God's sakes, what do you expect? Call me whatever you want, but I am an individual. I am who I am; not defined as yellow, white or any other colour. And for you to find out who I am, get to know me before you judge me.

I didn't think this posting would turn out to be a rant, but I guess I have been on the receiving end of far too many disapproving eyes from strangers. In the end though, it's a pretty funny story. My friend laughed his ass off when I told him this story. Then he called me a Flakey (because I'm sweet of course!).