A cheeky wee tale 'boot Scotland. Pt. I

My god what an interesting week. It started with some booze purchases and ended with another pick-up in a bus.

The week can be summarized quickly in a few words, in case you don't have time to read the rest. Whisky. Cold. Gloomy. Haggis. Black pudding. Loch Ness. Bagpipes and kilts. Plaid. Bus tours. Cranky host. Badminton. Aiy. Murrderrr.

Ok, not to worry, there was no murder other than basically the last few centuries of bloodshed that took place in Scotland. Seriously, there was not a story told that didn't end in murrrrderrrr. And I don't think I could ever say that word again without saying it in the good ole Scottie accent.

I called my host a cranky man, but really he's a cranky, disgruntled, cynical old man. Way too cynical to be in his 20s. Don't get me wrong, I am really grateful that he let us stay with him for a week. Despite his disposition, I have a feeling that he was happy to have us around. Sister's still bitter that he asked her to buy all of this stuff for him that he can't get in Canada - did it come out to more than $100? - and he didn't offer to pay her back. Is it not common courtesy that when you ask for something, you are going to pay for it? Anyhow...I think his girlfriend holds most of the decency in that pair. I think we earned our stay there, most definitely.

The first two days we did not have hot water...what does that mean? That means ice cold showers. Oh my goodness. For anyone who knows me, I primarily work at optimal temperatures that doesn't waiver outside of a 4 degree range - that's 23 - 26 degrees celsius. And I also must take a shower once a day. What a funny sight it must have been to see me taking a shower, one limb in and out of the water at a time. I don't think I was able to actually wash out the shampoo from my hair for the entire week because I just couldn't hold my head under the cold water long enough. But, you say, we only lost hot water for 2 days? Well when the hot water came back, it was like trying to tame a wild beast. The water was either HOT or COLD. The Scots don't believe in WARM.

The internet also went black for a couple of days too. And I am desperately dependent on checking my e-mail at least 2 times a day.

Right. And another thing about Scots. Basically the temperature outside determines the temperature inside. The apartment was freeeeezing the entire time. I know that people tell me that I am Canadian. Yes, thank you for reminding me. But we also wear toques and down winter coats. People were wearing tank tops in 10 degree weather. In Scotland, the tourists wear scarves.

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