Stream of consciousness

It is so unbelievably warm in my place that the Lindor chocolates sitting on my kitchen table are melting in the wrappers. Inspired by the warm weather earlier in the week I decided to go for an evening walk downtown at 11pm. I think it was Monday or Tuesday when the weather was up to 20 degrees. I made my way to the Marriot hotel and around the corner I heard some running water, a fountain in fact. It was the Trinity Square. How did I not know about this place? It was so beautiful at night. The soothing sound of water, flowing over rough cut stones along, carved out the pathway into the "garden". Downtown Toronto seriously lacks some green space, so it was nice to see something resembling a garden. I ended up walking through the Square for a few minutes and I think I came upon a really serene place. I could probably bring a book there and read it peacefully. I haven't seen it during the day though, so it probably feels very different compared to night time.

What a contrast to today's weather. Cool, windy and rainy. I wanted to go out for a walk tonight as well, but I'm really not feeling in the mood for it.

Let's see, I studied in the afternoon, after hanging out with the cat for a bit. Oh yes, did I mention, I am fostering a cat right now? So far he is nameless. We just call him kitty right now. Isn't that sad? He deserves to have a name, and it seems quite improper that he doesn't have one, but I am lacking some creative juices right now. I'm tempted to just call him Bob. Although he's small for a male cat, he's super cute and he has a lot of zeal. He's not afraid to "talk" to you when he wants something - usually what he wants is attention. If he had the choice to lie on a pillow, or lie on your lap, he would choose the lap. Whenever he wants to find a place to lie down he does this thing where he pokes whatever it is that he wants to lie on, which can be pretty comical if that happens to be your stomach. His fur is mostly black with white patches and he looks a little silly with various parts of fur having been shaved off for surgery. Honestly he is the most affectionate cat that I have ever met! He constantly wants attention. However, he refuses to take his pills. I attempted to give him his pills (ie forced them into his mouth) but he is clearly knows what I'm up to and spits them out as soon as I let him go. Even a veteran cat owner couldn't make him take them. So instead, I'm grinding up the pill and putting it into his food. I think he knows that I'm doing that as well because it looks as though he eats around the area where the pill powder was put. He has certainly changed the complexion of this household. Often times, I feel a little tickle in my nose and find out that there's a little cat hair there! haha. Ok that's kind of gross. But anyhow, I guess it's nice to know that there's a little guy at home, waiting for you.

I'll post a pic once I figure out how to use this card reader for my camera.

So back to the studying part. I went to the hospital to study for a bit, found a cozy little room. I spread out all of my belongings on the table: binder, pencil case, container of cut vegetables, jelly beans, coffee, and Twix. After a couple of hours, my mind was wandering and I ended up thinking about the term narcissism, relating to a personality disorder, and a topic oft studied in psychology. I was trying to think of the name of the other personality disorder that I studied in psych....had something to do with attention-seeking behaviour, self-centredness, someone exhibiting extreme emotionality. I tried to figure out what this word was for several minutes, just as a mental exercise. I even invoked my own method of remembering the characteristics of the disorder, using a person whom I thought fit the description. But I couldn't trigger anything. I was sitting there at the desk, looking at myself in the mirror which was annoyingly hung in front of the desk (how can you not look at yourself?), and the word suddenly came to me. "Histrionism." Now I'm not saying that I'm any of those things, but I thought it was pretty ironic that I was able to think of the word while doing an essentially egotistical act such as looking at oneself in the mirror!

(Definition of histrionic personality disorder: Individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder exhibit excessive emotionalism--a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner--and are attention seekers. Behaviors may include constant seeking of approval or attention, self-dramatization, theatricality, and striking self-centeredness or sexual seductiveness in inappropriate situations, including social, occupational and professional relationships beyond what is appropriate for the social context.) That's not me ;)

Food for thought: Isn't it interesting how a relationship can be a distraction for one party and a source of comfort and relief the other.